Some DUI stories are just too funny. Yes, it is a serious crime, but as TV programs and movies show us, drunk and high people can be quite funny. At least, until they get to that obnoxious 2-year-old phase of drunkenness.
Remus Opi, 54, of Portland, Maine, apparently wanted to be that funny drunk guy the other night when he ran into a fire hydrant. After police responded to the scene and ordered Opi out of his car, he decided he needed to relieve himself. So he walked over to one of the cruisers and allegedly took a whizz on it, according to The Associated Press.
Opi also refused a chemical test, which comes with its own consequences.
This guy's No. 1 mistake was obviously his alleged peeing on the police cruiser. If he had not done that, then maybe he would have had some sort of argument that the cops shouldn't have suspected him of being drunk.
Instead, Opi gave the police enough reason to arrest him without even a field sobriety test. In fact, that should be a new FST: Let's just ask people to get out of the car and see what they do. If they seem drunk, arrest them. If not, then you can ask them questions. This of course could get into constitutional law issues so it wouldn't really work.
Opi also refused an alcohol breath test, the AP reports. This triggers consequences under the implied consent law that exists in Maine just like it does in Pennsylvania. The law requires an automatic license suspension even if a driver is found not guilty of DUI (which is called OUI, or Operating Under the Influence, in Maine), because by getting a license to drive, a driver impliedly consents to be tested.
Needless to say, it's not looking to good for Remus Opi up there in Portland. Just remember, if you urinate on a police cruiser you can be arrested, and if you refuse a chemical sobriety test you will likely lose your license.